General Writing – Page 4 – Patrick Kayongo

Lights. Camera. Action!

Those who know me know that I’m not really a movie person. I watch about 5 movies a year in total. That’s inclusive of both the big screen and the small screen. Cinema, DVD, SABC, Etv, all of it. It also sucks in social situations, because whenever people are trying to make conversation with you, it defaults to 2 things: sport and movies, both of which I don’t follow. At least with sport you can fake it (social rule #34: if ever in a sport conversation, and don’t know what to say, just say, “WHAT’S UP WITH THE REF, HE’S SUCH A COST, THE GUY WAS OFFSIDE!” It always works.)

Inspiration… motivation… dedication

So in one of my earlier posts, I talked about my need to go to the gym. How it becomes a new years resolution and how it never works out. This year it started differently…

I have been consistently at least 2 times a month. You may laugh, but it’s something. Only problem is I haven’t been there in about a month and a half now. Not so cool. My question is, what keeps you inspired, motivated and dedicated to something? I’m actually out of ideas now… please help…

Cleaning out my closet…

In High School, Eminem / Slim Shady was big. If you weren’t quoting him in your English orals, your life was just meaningless. He was angry with the world, angry with his mother, angry with Britney Spears, angry with life and cared only for his daughter. Suddenly everyone I knew started becoming angry with everyone, and started throwing in random vulgarities within sentences that were completely meaningful without them. Like someone walking up to you and saying “I’m having an *&^(% good day (*&(&), but that (&)(*& teacher did me so (*&^(*&^ wrong by £()($%% failing me on that *()&&*^ test I didn’t ££$*&£ study for. Does that make sense to you? Didn’t really make sense to me either.

Where, O Logic, is your sting?

When I was 13, in grade 7, I had the perfect game strategy to get whatever girl I wanted at the time. It was so simple. All you had to do was to stand. Stand somewhere in her proximity. Preferably wearing the latest fashionable shoes (it was the latest trainers then with the graphic on the side). And the latest Axe deodorant (it was called Ego then). I think it was Ego African Amber at the time. From this point, what would happen is she would see me from 50m away, walk up to me, and tell me how she’s completely attracted to me, and thinks I’m irresistibly attractive. Makes complete sense right? I mean, why wouldn’t this possibly work? I was fully convinced that this was a fail-proof strategy. May explain why I got rejected twice that year. (Maybe I should have used Brut spray instead of Axe. I think that’s what all the 13 year old players used at the time. I think that’s what Justin Bieber uses now).

6 steps to becoming part of the broke middle class

Are you tired of having to live a responsible life and be disciplined with your finances? Are you tired of preparing for the future, and making sure you have enough for tomorrow? Do you want to live in the now!? A life of temporary freedom and fun!? If that’s you, this post is for you!!!

Dreaming in slow motion

Lots of kids have interesting dreams of what they would like to be when they grow up. Some little boys dream of being firefighters, policemen, sportsmen, or hip hop video stars. Little girls dream of being princesses, 50 cent video girls, baby mamas, and the like. (I actually don’t know what little girls dream of becoming. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not a little girl, and therefore did not have the dreams that little girls have). What did I want to become: A computer programmer!

Boot Camp

Moving to Johannesburg has been interesting. New sites and new sounds. New weaves (people, there is actually a LARGE variety) and new faces.

Arriving here was an interesting challenge. I am generally a socialite, except in unfamiliar ground. I kind of shrink back because I don’t know how people may respond to my random comments, or if they will even like me. For some reason, it’s difficult to be myself completely.

Personal Hygiene

I’m a private guy. I don’t like being vulnerable in public, and I don’t like doing things that I would normally be doing in private, in a public area. I think that just opens you up to a whole lot of public attention and public scrutiny. Why do I think this? Because this is what I do in public places. Especially in one of the public places that I avoid the most, where people are forced to do things they should only do in private: THE PUBLIC TOILET!

The Man

I enjoy music. I enjoy music a whole lot. Music has the ability to completely change my mood and alter my thoughts.

Growing up, I used to listen to the good stuff, you know, Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, you know, the sounds of the sounds of the upper class who have enough taste and class to enjoy this kind of sound…

Greener Grass

When my family moved to South Africa in 1989, we got a cream Toyota Corolla. It was hot. So so so hot. I remember when I first got the “privilege” of washing the car. I say privilege carefully because as young kids we were always looking to take up responsibility. Once it becomes a chore, we become so over it. Anyway, after washing it, each and every time I would stop and say WOW. This car is amazing… Shining like new. Reaching supersonic speeds of 180 km/h. Cassette player. AM/FM Radio. Wow, absolutely amazing. It doesn’t get better than that. (Yes ladies and gentlemen, I made it through the stone age).