Personal Hygiene

I’m a private guy.  I don’t like being vulnerable  in public, and I don’t like doing things that I would normally be doing  in private, in a public area. I think that just opens you up to a whole  lot of public attention and public scrutiny. Why do I think this?  Because this is what I do in public places. Especially in one of the  public places that I avoid the most, where people are forced to do  things they should only do in private: THE PUBLIC TOILET!

There  are different kinds of public toilets. I have been to some amazing  public toilets. The kind with automatic flushing, television screens in  the floor, 4 ply tissue and door men who ask upon your departure “Have  you enjoyed your time here?”.  I have also been to disgustingly horrid   public toilets. The kind where people steal all the toilet paper 2.67  seconds after it has been put in. Where you suddenly lose that dying  urge you had a few minutes ago because all sensory faculties have moved  from the lower abdominal region to the throat inciting you to throw up  (you see a lot of this growing up in a small Eastern Cape town).

One  of the interesting things about looking at public toilets is watching  human behaviour. My new standard for deciding if I want to be friends  with someone is judging how they behave in a public toilet. People  forget that there are mirrors all around, and even though you are not  looking at them, you are looking at them. And the most disgusting,  unforgivable of deadly sins that men often commit in a public toilet is  NOT WASHING THEIR FREAKIN’ HANDS!

I mean, how does  someone walk in, perform one of the most disgusting of human activities  and then walk out to contaminate the world with their [insert  appropriate word here]. It makes me wonder every time I shake someone’s  hand. Questions like “What kind of diet does this guy have”, “Does he  take enough roughage in his diet” and “Is he a disgusting  non-hand-washing freak” pop into mind.

But so often  there are times in meeting people where I contaminate their worlds  because I haven’t washed my hands. So many times I meet someone for the  first time, and I box them because of my prejudices which I haven’t  washed clean. So many times, I treat someone badly because of a bad  experience that I have gone through that day, that weak, or when I was 5  years old and someone stole my only Lunch Bar (I’m still going to get  you back for that). So many times, I laugh at people and make them feel  small because of some insecurity I have. So many times that disease  causing germs are passed on to someone else, just because I have  neglected to wash my own hands.

Do you also need to wash your hands?

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