Dreaming in slow motion

Lots of kids have interesting dreams of what they would like to be  when they grow up. Some little boys dream of being firefighters,  policemen, sportsmen, or hip hop video stars. Little girls dream of  being princesses, 50 cent video girls, baby mamas, and the like. (I  actually don’t know what little girls dream of becoming. Due to circumstances beyond my control, I was not a little girl, and therefore did not have the dreams that little girls have). What did I want to  become: A computer programmer!

Very  very weird for a little kid, but at the age of 10, my biggest dream was  to become a computer programmer, or a games tester. Really thought that  this was the coolest thing someone could do with their lives. I mean,  why would someone want to become a doctor and save lives… Who needs life  anyway? Why would someone want to become an engineer and develop  things? Why would someone want to be an accountant and (um… what do  those people even do with their lives?).

As I grew  older, my dreams started taking a slightly different shape. Whereas  playing games all day for a 10 year old kid may be the most  life-satisfying activity, I can’t imagine myself as a 50 year old father  saying “son, pass the joystick, I’m gonna kick your ass just like I did  the last time because this is all I do with my life” (this is not a swipe at games testers, I can’t take a swipe at them because I really don’t know any).

My  dreams started becoming about what I want to do in the world. The type  on influence I’d like to have. The type of impact I’d like to make.  Occasionally the type of car I’d like to drive. In university, I found  it easier dreaming big, because I didn’t feel like I was at that point  where I would start making my dreams a reality. When I started working, I  thought it was the time the dreams were meant to come to fruition.  Big-time businessman, speaker, changing the continent of Africa.

But  this is not where I find myself. I find myself living in a fantasy  world of what could be. Sitting dreaming about what I could be doing  with my life right now. Looking around at other people who “have made  it” and dreaming of being in their shoes.

Actually  reminds me of a story of some guy called Joseph. Had a dream, completely different to his current reality. Got arrogant about this dream and  started telling everyone how they will be subject to him. This Joseph  guy goes through the worst of the worst before this dream gets  fulfilled. From betrayal by those closest to him, to being falsely  accused by some video girl. But in the end, all this made him better suited to live the dream he had those many years ago. He could have  lived out that dream from conception. But he probably would have stuffed  it up. And stuffed up a whole nation too.

I could be  living my dream now. But I’ll probably stuff it up. And stuff up a whole lot more too. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy the now. Enjoy what I have.  Doing the basics right. Turn my current reality into a dream. And when I  finally do get to live this ultimate dream of mine, at least I’ll be  qualified to.

What dreams are you dreaming?

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