I Need A Doctor

Generally, I don’t get sick. Last weekend, I got sick. Runny tummy, weak, slept the whole day, bored.

While  one is sick, they tend to get deep. There is nothing better to do than  to think. And stare at the ceiling. And continue with that same lame  boring dream you had before that, and then think some more. In addition  to this, I went and read someone’s speech at Smuts Hall, UCT my former  residence for the Alumni dinner. I thought I was going to collapse on  stage. I didn’t. I like writing in short sentences. I’m  being melodramatic. I need a doctor. Like Eminem.

The  worst thing about being sick is that I didn’t want to eat. I had no  energy, because I didn’t eat (and, as mentioned above, because I was  sick). Eating gives a person energy. I didn’t eat. Therefore, I didn’t  have energy. Appetite gone. Taste buds gone. Appreciation for the free  food I got at the Alumni Dinner I forgot to pay for… gone. And it got  me thinking…

When we’re sick, the thing we need most  is what we repel: food for energy, medicine for healing, and Rebecca  Black’s Friday song to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. Just like  when we need people, our natural reaction is first to isolate ourselves.  And when we need to work, our natural reaction is to read through our  tweets. For the 4th time. And when we need to read the Bible, we are  more drawn to Heat. And when we need Jesus, we are more drawn to [insert  your preferred idol here].

But now, I’m healthy. And I  can write in short sentences at random times of the night. And you’re  reading this. And I’m just so hot right now. And Johnny Bravo is the  best cartoon ever made by man. The end.