Nasal Particles

Recently I’ve started volunteering to work with the youth in the  church that I go to. It’s actually an interesting, fun experience, and  reminds me of my time as an adolescent. Reminded me that as a teenager,  there two laws in life of which every other law comes secondary. The  laws? Look cool, and get the girls to notice you. From these two, all  other laws come from.

In  our quest to look cool, we actually did rather stupid things. I mean, we  used to sit at this spot which we termed “Sun City”, and watch the  girls walk past. We used to be having the rowdiest conversation that  young men could have, but as soon as a pretty girl came in the vicinity,  stop talking, assume whatever position you’ve been practising in your  room, and stare off into the distance to give the impression that you’re  a deep thinker pondering questions about the abstract things in life.  Success rate of this strategy? 0%

We also had to make  sure our appearance was acceptable. This is why people wore the clothing  the bought 2 hours ago on casual day. It was a common thing to see  outfits worn by people on mannequins a few days after the casual day.  Another thing we used to do in order to keep up our appearances, was to  walk up to other guys to ask if our noses were clear, no particles that  would decrease ratings from a 5 to a 4.95.

So a guy  would walk up to another guy and say “Am I clear dude?”. Other guy  signals with his hand the corrective measure that needs to be taken.  Saying it out loud would just not be cool. Almost as uncool as publicly  acknowledging you listen to Justin Bieber, sing the song loud in the  shower, know the dance moves, and pretend to be Ludacris whenever that  part comes on “LUDA! When I was 13, I had my first love”… (umm… not that  I do any of this in my spare time).

Despite the  stupidity of the method, the practice was good. I mean, if I had  something in my nose, then I walked up to some girl I was keen on, and  all she could see was that mucous surrounded particle that moved up and  down as I moved my mouth, it would not be cool. At first, I wouldn’t  know about it because she obviously wouldn’t say it. That’s the job of  my boys. But afterwards, when I look in the mirror and find it there, I  would feel like an idiot, run to my room, and lock myself in because the  world has absolutely ended.

Sometimes it’s hard, but  it’s needed that we tell people when they have something in their nose,  or a bad habit, or an irritating trait, or an offensive mannerism, or a  random dress sense like bright colour skinny jeans (are skinny jeans  still in fashion?). Sometimes, it’s more beneficial for them if we get  over ourselves, and just say it. Obviously say it right, and not say  “DUDE!!! THERE’S A MONSTER COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!! HAHAHA I WONDER  HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW IT!! HAHA YOU’RE GONNA BE SO UNPOPULAR, NO – ONE IS  GONNA LIKE YOU! YOU’RE GONNA DIE SINGLE AND LONELY HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Please,  if you know me, and I have something in my nose, it would be nice to  know. And if I know you, and you have something in your nose, if you  don’t figure it out by me trying to hold in my laughter, I’ll try and  tell you. If we choose not to build each other up by telling each other  where we are going wrong, we’re indirectly breaking each other down.

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