Recently I’ve started volunteering to work with the youth in the church that I go to. It’s actually an interesting, fun experience, and reminds me of my time as an adolescent. Reminded me that as a teenager, there two laws in life of which every other law comes secondary. The laws? Look cool, and get the girls to notice you. From these two, all other laws come from.
In our quest to look cool, we actually did rather stupid things. I mean, we used to sit at this spot which we termed “Sun City”, and watch the girls walk past. We used to be having the rowdiest conversation that young men could have, but as soon as a pretty girl came in the vicinity, stop talking, assume whatever position you’ve been practising in your room, and stare off into the distance to give the impression that you’re a deep thinker pondering questions about the abstract things in life. Success rate of this strategy? 0%
We also had to make sure our appearance was acceptable. This is why people wore the clothing the bought 2 hours ago on casual day. It was a common thing to see outfits worn by people on mannequins a few days after the casual day. Another thing we used to do in order to keep up our appearances, was to walk up to other guys to ask if our noses were clear, no particles that would decrease ratings from a 5 to a 4.95.
So a guy would walk up to another guy and say “Am I clear dude?”. Other guy signals with his hand the corrective measure that needs to be taken. Saying it out loud would just not be cool. Almost as uncool as publicly acknowledging you listen to Justin Bieber, sing the song loud in the shower, know the dance moves, and pretend to be Ludacris whenever that part comes on “LUDA! When I was 13, I had my first love”… (umm… not that I do any of this in my spare time).
Despite the stupidity of the method, the practice was good. I mean, if I had something in my nose, then I walked up to some girl I was keen on, and all she could see was that mucous surrounded particle that moved up and down as I moved my mouth, it would not be cool. At first, I wouldn’t know about it because she obviously wouldn’t say it. That’s the job of my boys. But afterwards, when I look in the mirror and find it there, I would feel like an idiot, run to my room, and lock myself in because the world has absolutely ended.
Sometimes it’s hard, but it’s needed that we tell people when they have something in their nose, or a bad habit, or an irritating trait, or an offensive mannerism, or a random dress sense like bright colour skinny jeans (are skinny jeans still in fashion?). Sometimes, it’s more beneficial for them if we get over ourselves, and just say it. Obviously say it right, and not say “DUDE!!! THERE’S A MONSTER COMING OUT OF YOUR NOSE!!! HAHAHA I WONDER HOW MANY PEOPLE SAW IT!! HAHA YOU’RE GONNA BE SO UNPOPULAR, NO – ONE IS GONNA LIKE YOU! YOU’RE GONNA DIE SINGLE AND LONELY HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Please, if you know me, and I have something in my nose, it would be nice to know. And if I know you, and you have something in your nose, if you don’t figure it out by me trying to hold in my laughter, I’ll try and tell you. If we choose not to build each other up by telling each other where we are going wrong, we’re indirectly breaking each other down.
Patrick Kayongo 