So I go to gym. I’ve been going to gym since high school. That’s why I am so hot, built and sexy.
Actually, thats a lie I tell everyone I meet for the first time. If you see me, you’ll know I’m not really built (hot and sexy still apply though). At the beginning of every “season” in my life, I look around me, and it seems like everyone is getting bigger. Problem is, I’m not getting bigger. One of the biggest lies that guys say all the time is that they go to gym to stay healthy. If you really wanted to stay healthy, you wouldn’t do half the things you do. The real reason guys go to gym is that everyone is getting bigger, and a situation might arise that there might cause a confrontation with these bigger guys. If you’re the smaller guy, you are going to be re-engineered. You will be beaten. 3 year old kids will laugh at you. Your dog will leave you because it’s too embarassed to be walked by you on the road. When all the other dogs are barking, they’re not really barking. They too are laughing.
Problem is, that’s not motivation enough. I sign up every year with a commitment to become a beast. I have this whole plan set out. Wake up at 5am every morning. Rush off to gym. Get back feeling fresh and energised. Spray my Axe spray. Eat up some Special K. Drink some Protein shake. Just look and feel like a bawse… (by the way, I don’t actually use Axe spray – I’ll smell like every second guy on the road; I don’t eat Special K – all the ads have females and that makes it emasculating, and I don’t take Protein shakes – I was told that guys who take them have small packages; this was just for imagery). That lasts for about 3 days. On day 4, I press the snooze button. By day 7, I don’t even put the alarm on. This has been the routine for the past 4 years. Since 1st year varsity to now, 1st year working.
It always happens that we seem to want what other people have, but aren’t willing to pay the price they paid to get there. We want the body, but not the workout. We want the mind but not the books. We want the insight but not research. We want the wisdom but not the experience. We always seem to be looking for shortcuts to get to places that only a long path can take. But life is too short to take shortcuts (I’m not entirely sure what that means or how it relates to what I’m saying, but I heard someone say it and it sounded deep, so I’ll say it anyway). It takes decades for an oak tree to grow to a good size, but it lasts 100s of years. It takes a very short time for a mushroom plant to grow, and it doesn’t last too long.
The higher greater the benefit, normally the greater the price. So in whatever goal we go after, we need to assess if we’re willing to pay the price. In the meantime, I’ll go back to gym… next month…
Patrick Kayongo 